A teenage nightmare? -OZY

Adolescence is traditionally a time for children to spread their wings, test their independence, and rebel a little (or a lot). This is a transition that many parents and children find difficult. Letting go and allowing your child to make mistakes as they approach adulthood can be an emotional rollercoaster. In the meantime, for young people, making this transition following COVID-19 is all the more complicated. The pandemic has given some young people greater freedom to learn in a way that suits them, while maintaining online friendships. For others, the enforced isolation has damaged social skills and heightened feelings of anxiety.

No matter where your child falls on this spectrum, experts know how to support them.

Renee Rosales, co-founder of two of Arizona’s first virtual schools, says that before the pandemic, virtual learning was generally a resource for people with learning disabilities. “We had been using online education primarily as an alternative education opportunity for kids, and when COVID hit, it became the mainstay.” In this way, it was an unintended experiment in how children learn best.

Every child is unique, meaning some teens excelled in online learning while others floundered. Rosales, who launched Theara, an organization designed to support neuro-diverse learners, says some students — especially those who are neuro-diverse — preferred to learn at home because they didn’t have to deal with teasing or bullying. Differences such as ticks or disabilities were not as apparent in online classrooms, which gave children with exceptionalities the space to focus on assigned work rather than navigating social challenges and share space with others.

Psychologist Sharon Witkin said it was a distinct blessing for some children. “There’s less of an organizational burden when you’re just at home,” she told OZY. “It’s actually easier for some kids because they’re not trying to keep up with so many things and places, and they’re not constantly distracted by their classmates.”

Whether the pandemic has made schooling easier or more difficult for your child, the return to “normalcy” is likely to be bumpy.

Even for children who have benefited from alternative education during the pandemic, there are setbacks associated with being physically cut off from the world. Rosales says that even if your child prefers to be home, it’s important to acknowledge the losses and associated grief. “They lost the ability to do a lot of the activities they loved,” she explained.

While the world has largely returned to normal, there is a widespread tendency to simply say that everything is fine now, alongside attempts to move on. But, says Rosales, “We need to look at our relationship with grief.” We are all still grappling with what was taken from us when the pandemic began and it is vital, she noted, that young people take time to process their grief in order to develop awareness and literacy. about their emotions.

There is an added layer of complexity for young people who have specific academic or sporting aspirations. Many are now worried about how the pandemic has affected their ability to enroll in college.

“High-achieving kids worry about their AP classes, they worry about the impact on their future,” Witkin says. “Parents and kids really don’t know how colleges are going to adjust to this.” This adds even more uncertainty to an already difficult time.

Amid so much change and uncertainty, how can teens and the adults who support them make the most of this unique time?

Colleges do not exist in a vacuum, and many have adapted their admission requirements and tuition to a world reshaped by COVID. At the same time, parents of children who are focused on college admission can encourage their teen to be proactive. Students can increase their chances of being accepted by looking for new extracurricular and volunteer opportunities now that pandemic restrictions have been lifted, lining up letters of recommendation as soon as possible, and getting a head start on writing their college essay so they have time to seek the advice of a counselor or teacher. And while some colleges have made the SAT and ACT optional, it’s worth taking these tests if possible.

It also makes sense for students to use social media to research and keep up to date with their top-choice colleges and, where possible, to show an interest in those institutions, even if they can’t get to them. nobody.

If your teen has adapted well to online learning and doesn’t want to return to a traditional school environment, it may be worth considering your options. Given that online schooling has allowed children to get away from social anxieties and, in many cases, the dreaded morning classes, there is good reason to consider a continuous alternative model.

“Some teens have actually found it easier to get the material and master it with an online program than with in-person learning,” psychologist Witkin said. “For many children, this is a favorite way to learn. They can watch classes at their convenience and therefore not be stressed by the wacky schedules that some schools have with the early riser, it’s really hard for teenagers. Moreover, they were also less socially distracted.

If you think your child would get more out of distance learning, talk to their school as a starting point for researching online learning opportunities that may be available in your district.

In making such an important decision, Witkin stressed the importance of considering all aspects of your child’s life, including access to sporting and social events. She also pointed out that some children use the freedom of virtual education ineffectively or for unfair advantage. In an online classroom, she said, “it’s easier to cheat when you’re taking tests because you can be on another device looking for the answers.” These factors must be weighed against the potential benefits and freedom of alternative education.

Before the pandemic, many parents placed limits on their teens’ use of social media. With the closures, however, it was one of the only ways for teenagers to connect with each other. Sanam Hafeez, a New York-based neuropsychologist, says that “adolescents get most of their socialization from peers and friends. Therefore, social media has played an important role in keeping in touch with their friends while staying safe. They have turned to social media to maintain their connection to the outside world. While parents had often viewed social media as a social evil, in the pandemic it has become a social necessity.

This is no longer the case. Teens can get together in person again, which means it might be time to reset digital boundaries.

All of the experts we spoke to agreed that it’s important for kids of all ages to spend more time outdoors being physically active. Encourage your teen to join a sports team, run, or go for walks or hikes with you or their friends.

The pandemic has created opportunities for some families to spend more time together than they ever had before — and some of those bonds may continue into the present. “The lockdowns forced the teens to stay home, so it was a good opportunity to bond with their nuclear family and maybe participate in activities with them that they wouldn’t usually do,” says Hafeez. . If your family has taken up activities such as bicycling during the pandemic, try not to let those rituals die out.

While it’s natural for parents to worry about the impact of the pandemic and lockdowns on their children’s mental health and academic progress, Witkin reminds us that we’re all stronger than we think. “We are afraid of not being able to cope and we underestimate the coping abilities of others, especially our own children. But most people are resilient.”